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A mind traveller. Pretty much an abstract and eccentric human being. But overall, a human panda who embraces food as a hobby.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Robin Williams and Depression

One of America's funniest, witty and brilliant man in comedy. He brought endless memories especially to the children coming from the 80s and 90s. Even adults love him for his talents. He didn't only bring funny but also emotional, strong and inspirational characters through his movies. Yesterday, was a day of tragic loss to the world of comedy. I don't idolize him, but when I see or hear Robin Williams, I can imagine a smile through my face forming immediately. I adore him for his roles in Aladdin, Mrs Doubtfire, Jumanji, Patch Adams, and Whose Line Is It Anyway (one of the best episodes with Robin in it, cause I was laughing throughout) will cross through my mind. It saddens me so much, to know that he ended his life away due to depression.

Depression is a serious matter. It is in no way similar to PMS (really it's not funny to relate it with this), or any normal stress level. It's the state where you just struggle to stay alive. You are eating for the sake of energy. You smile just because you don't want people to keep asking why. You talk only when you need to. You meet people just so that you can search another reason to stay alive the next day. 

When in reality, all you want to do is hide away from people and stop feeling anything; sad, crying, happy, gloomy, tense. All you want to do is just to stop feeling, because you don't know what is going on, and you know you need help. You know. But you also know that the moment you try to open the door to people, they will judge you. They know it's ridiculous that YOU of all people (lets assume you are similar to Robin) the joy of joy, is having a problem. The moment you do open up, there will be sentence like 

"i think you are making a big deal out of this"  

or 

"i think this isn't even an issue" 

and the most famous line,

"dude, someone else have even bigger problems than yours". 

These are some of the reason that people with depression hides away their pain, not realizing that it eats them up and kills them slowly, until one point their life just went away, even though they don't want to. It's not an easy battle. Definitely, the worse battle to strive living another day with these thoughts haunting you. It's shocking to know that maybe your happiest friend are the one facing depression, and you don't have a clue about it, because all you see is the outer part of them. Well, they can't afford to make themselves happy, so what they can do is to make others smile and not feel the same way they do. They are the people that understand the meaning of being at the lowest level of yourself, and they will try to help, eventhough you are a stranger. But they have forgotten how to help themselves. These people need help, but they have forgotten to ask for it because they are as scared as anybody are. 

How do I know all of these? 
Because I faced it too. I am one of these people. But I am thankful and grateful to God, I have guidance in every way to breathe another day thinking about the very things that life has to offer. Though I will not lie when I say, I do need help here and there and still walking a slow pace. It's not a bad disease, nobody ask for it, as all of us are human, there is so much one can take. 

Here I stand, to tell you, humans live to coexists. Nobody wants to be alone and can afford to be alone. Remember after today, to look at your side, look at your friend and tell him/her that you are there for all that matters. Tell em your shoulders are there to lean on, your ears are there to listen and you are there to walk with them, eventhough you have no idea what they are going through, but when they are ready, you are there to walk with them to rediscover the world in a better place. You have no idea how that support might just save a life. 

Dear Robin Williams, 
You taught us much. You also raised an awareness on depression.
Your life ends, but I know in the future, people will remember to save other's life through words of support, joy and happiness.
You will be missed. 
You're free now Genie.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

steady

Steady dear heart.
God is testing how steady your sweet heart can go.
How strong it is beating, when truthfully its tearing apart. How the ache tries to stoop you down, when you need to walk.

It kills this beating heart to know, that it has to walk on slowly. Beating to the same rhythm, as the other side.
This space has two hearts, the other side is beating to a fast rhythm, while the other tries to cope with the beat.
All it ends up doing is falling.

This hearts need to breathe together.
That there is only one rhythm.
So steady dear heart.
Dont give up.
It's a test. Keep beating. Be w him.
May God guide you to beat stronger.