Truthfully speaking. I am not at my best state. It has been going on for the past three weeks. I keep feeling tired way early than it is suppose to be. Tired even when I had enough rest. I feel the pressure of being the place where the house finds me to lean on.
What makes it more worse, I have keep it deep inside. Scared of the judgements made by people. Even by the ones close to me. I am scared that they will call me weak. When truth be told, I am breaking piece by piece. But cause I am now known to most by the strong one, even as I am sick and breaking, like it or not I have to stay strong and look strong.
My mind is tortured, my emotions are concealed, my insides are dying slowly.
They say I am independent and I can survive. But I can only do so much, because truth be told, I am a human, not a superman.
God, I lean on you. Because I need not to tell you or explain how I am. And You never judge me. Allah Ya Rahman Ya Rahim. Mend me. Help me. Put me in one piece so I can be alive.