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A mind traveller. Pretty much an abstract and eccentric human being. But overall, a human panda who embraces food as a hobby.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Scribbled Stories: Open Window

All I Want - Kodaline 

She looks out the window. For today, she sees the window to be more than a glass pane to let the breeze in. She stops to look out. For that one time, she looks outside and feel the breeze. She gaze to the outside world, far and deep. It is not really a magnificent view, just very much simple, with trees that have no flowers, with leaves that are aging holding on, and the sky that is barely blue. But there is a strong breeze, a strong wind. 
She is immersed in that outside world. 

For the years she stayed, she never bothered to glimpse or observe. She only opens the window, so she can breathe and let the breeze come into her room. Today, she sees the window more than just a pane of glass.

The trees are sometimes dancing, to the wind's direction. She sees the dance of life from where the wind blows. Sometimes, when the wind turns into a storm, she sees the trees as if defending themselves from falling. The harder the wind blows, the stronger the trees hold on to the ground, to stand tall. The leaves that hangs around will then fall one by one to the ground. The aging leaves, falls faster. But some of the aged ones, hold on strongly with the others, holding on to the time that it will fall down. 

She looks up, staring at the sky. There is not much she can see from her window. But that view of the sky she has, enough for her to see the clouds passing by. Looking at the clouds, like a flock of sheep walking. The fluffy clouds and sometimes you can see one tiny cloud, left behind. Sometimes, you can see the sky wearing the colour blue, but at times, its just the white sky. 

Here on the other side of the window, a girl looking out, staring at these creations, to the nature's melody, to the dances by the trees, to the movement of the clouds and the wide blue sky. She isn't only looking at nature. She is looking far beyond that. She realizes that outside window lies a reality. Lies a world she will go through every single day she steps out of the door. She thought deeply of every trees she has passed by, at thousands of places she has been to. From the trees in autumn to the trees in winter. From trees with leaves, to the ones with flowers. She knows for a fact, she passed by so many places that her feet has bring her to. Places where she discovers new experience, every single day of her life. 

The sky, witness her walk of life. The wide sky, that looks upon her life, her walks and her encounters. When the sky has the sun with it, it shines on her happy days.When the sky and clouds are together, it helps her to feel the warmth of the sun, with comfort. But when she's down, the raindrops fall to show that when she falls, the sky cries for her. The sky sees her walk of life. She is never alone.  

She realizes today for a fact. That today and the week to come, will be her final moments staying in this room. To look out at this window, that has been her sight for the past years. She will close the window, this final time and finally move out. Moving out and make new steps, to the outside world. She will no longer be the observer. She will be the walk of life. The one that makes the steps outside, along with the dances and melody. The fact that she will be with the outside world, scares her. 

What if falls down like the leaves, unable to hold on? 
What if she won't be able to dance as strong and as beautiful as the trees?
What if she's left behind the group of life, whom walk as one? 
Will she forever make raindrops on her ground? 

But for that one second, she thought, she needs to make that walk. She needs to step into that world. She's apart of that life. Like every other life, she lives for a purpose. She'll dance as beautifully as the trees. Like the trees, she will stand strong when the storm blows. Let the rain fall, because she will be walking as one with every clouds. Shine as bright as the sun. So when the wind blows, she will feel the life, for she is also part of the life, 'It's time' she said. 'It is time'. Time for her to make that walk. She looks back into her room, ready to pack up to leave, with a smile in her face. 

PS: Sometimes the world tells you so many things. There's no need for them to speak the language we speak. It's whether we want to listen to the melody, or whether we have time to observe. 

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Cerita Pendek : Mungkin?

Yes, laju juga aku bawak ni. But I leave everything behind the moment I got the call from Asyraf. Ye lah, mamat tu mana selalu nak call aku. Tetibe je call, and he urged me to come lepak at Platinum, Setapak tu. Which takes like what, 15 mins to 20 mins journey from where I am. I have no idea, kenapa aku sanggup drop away from my assignment, just to meet this guy. 

"Sheera, kau free tak? Aku nak ajak kau lepak ni" said Asyraf, dalam suara dia yang seumpama stutter nak sebut perkataan tu.
"Aku free kot. For real la kau ajak lepak? Whats the catch boy?"
"Nothing. I just wanna see you. It's been long since we have a lepak session between us?" kata Asyraf. Weird thing is, we never have a lepak session. Usually it's the sort of hang out session dengan geng. 
"We never had a lepak session Asyraf. So the long part, is really like, erm.. never?"
"Okay fine. Let's have one tonight. Jom. I tak kerja besok. It's on me tonight. Jom la Sheera. Ingat senang ke I nak ajak keluar"
"Fine. I see you at 9pm"
"Lamanya, make it early la girl"
"Don't want. I nak tunggu you ajak I, takes ages. Suh tunggu pukul sembilan pun da mengeluh. Okay see you later boy"

That was pretty much our conversation. So here I am rushing towards our first lepak session. Fine. Aku panic, nak pakai apa, cause all these while, I don't think much of what to wear. I decided to go for something laid back after 30 minutes of looking at the wardrobe. Fine. Lama la jugak. So here I am, looking for that coffee shop, where Asyraf is waiting for me. 

So what is the deal dengan this boy? It's a big deal to me. He's my what if. He's my close friend, the one I pour my annoying moments and well, when I have problems, I run to him for advice. But I never ever, have that guts to spill it to him, how much he means to me. Bukan sebagai sahabat, but maybe more than that. It's been years since we keep on playing games with each other, bak kata orang, main tarik tali, but all I can think of is the fact that I am the only one pulling this. Oh shit, that's Asyraf. Breathe Sheera. Breathe. It's only a lepak session. Oh darn, dia da nampak kau, dia da wave, okay move it. Move it.

"Finally you came. Lamanya I tunggu" Asyraf sambut aku, like the gentleman he is, and waits for me to be seated then he follow suit. 
"I didn't ask you pun lama tunggu. Anway, thank you for waiting. Memang jauh betul you ajak I lepak ye"
"It's now or never kan. I told you I'll be here Sheera"
He draws that smile on his face. I hate that smile, I hate it. Sebab apa? Sebab I fall for it everytime. Aku akan marah kalau dia buat aku suka dia. Sebab I know I can't have him. We chat as a start. I noticed he is wearing spectacles for the first time. Make him look more, cute? No? Okay No. No more nonsense la. He's not gonna be yours Sheera. Why bother. Our conversation is lovely. It is going on fine, till I realize the fact that, I am being cold with him. My respond is mainly in a sarcastic tone. My heart ache everytime he makes me smile or happy. Aku tak patut rasa macam ini. The pain or heart ache is like doing something you love, but getting hurt along the way. I look down halfway through our lepak session, which then I turn quiet for a few minutes.

"Well you turn quiet suddenly, whats the deal princess?"
I hate when he calls me that, it just makes me fall for him more, but the pain of him being not mine is just, unbearable. Does he really mean it? Or memang dia sweet macam tu? 
"Do you have something to say?" I asked him. Raut muka Asyraf bertukar. Puzzled. He gives me a confused look. 
"I mean. jarang you nak ajak I lepak. Whats the deal suddenly, ada benda ke you nak bagitahu I?" I asked again the same question. He smile and shook his head, meaning to say, he has nothing important to say. 

I flashed a smile to him, while continue eating my last bit of dessert. I keep looking at my food. Playing around with it. This situation, is even worse than us lepaking with the gang. It is not awkward, but rather I feel a pain in the heart, a non-stop stabbing pain. My heart keeps on screaming, if there is a soundtrack untuk background situation time ni, aku nak mainkan lagu Adele - Make You Feel My Love. Sometimes I take a peek, looking at him. I remember the way he smile, always, the way he adjust his spectacles, of the time he make lame jokes, putting effort nak cheer me up, because he knows my silence meant something somewhere, I am in a sad mood. Finally, kitaorg habis makan, I am still very much quiet, but I start to talk. Halfway through I realize, if he's not gonna be mine, might as well aku treasure this moment dapat lepak with him. I wont know bila lagi dapat lepak this close with him. Unlike the usual phone calls, or chatting, we settle down, finally, to a one on one lepak session. Which happens like, once in a blue moon. So we walk towards our parking spot, dia menjadi gentleman, dia pon well, escort aku ke kereta. I hate to say goodbye but, I am at the car already, beratnya hati nak say goodbye. Can something please happen? Some miracle please, give me time with him. If I can't have him, let me spend time with him just being his friend, this close friend.

"Not this miracle" aku tercakap kuat pula. Asyraf duduk dari tepi pintu kereta aku yang tak tertutup, datang dekat pada aku. 
"What happened? What miracle sheera?"
Aku speechless. Panic kejap. Kereta aku tak boleh nak start enjin. Simbol battery menyala. After a few minutes of inspection, turns out my car is out of battery. Aku nak panggil tow truck, ni da malam, mana ada yang bukak. Okay, i was hoping for a miracle. Not in this way. Aku pun frustrated sebab, my one time lepak session turns horrible. 

"Sheera. Leave the car la. Meh I hantar you balik. Its not far pun, I can deal with it. I da drive jauh dari ni. Besides, nak panggil tow truck pun mahal la time camni. besok we deal with your car okay. i tak kerja pun besok. i temankan you. jom?"aku pun terdiam and nod my head slowly to show aku takde choice but head back to his car.

As I enter his car, I seriously feel like breaking down. I should've just treasure the memory dari awal. not halfway through baru nak sedar, this is one time lepak session. Now da jadi apa dah. What if after this, he finds a girl, this lepak thing will never happen again? Aku akan jadi pendengar cerita cinta dia, while on my side, I feel the hurt and aching pain to hear that he is happy with another. Like that never happened before, well it did happened. Enduring it was a pain I cannot go through it again. Not again. Both of us are very much single now, but none of us said a thing. Well, I didn't because I can't bare to lose him. I would rather hurt and be hurt with this situation dari lose him in my life. So, during the journey, again, aku terdiam. Asyraf asyik toleh ke arah aku. Agaknya, dia da start risau aku terlalu diam and well, obviously there is a frown in my face. 

"Sheera, you do know its pretty obvious you tengah miserable over something. Care to share with me? Da lama juga la I perhati ni. I am always here to listen you know that" 
Pergh, aku dengar ayat ni, ada yang banjir juga kereta Civic ni kang. Aku nak cakap. I really want to. I feel like bursting to tell and scream to his face. 
"So any girls you find interesting Asyraf? You seem like you nak kejar a girl. Who is it?"
Ternampak la muka Asyraf terkejut aku tanya soalan tu. He gives me a grin and just continue to drive.
"Well Sheera. Nobody really. Kalau ada pun, she won't look my way. It's always been like that"
Aku terus sentap. Rasa macam nak banjirkan sekarang juga kereta ni. I hold back the tears. Asyraf continues to talk back of how he feels it would be nice to have someone who understands him. My heart is responding to his every words, I wish I am the one that could show him that there is someone who wants to care for him. To stand by him when everything else fails him. To just laugh out on silly things, and to know when everything sucks, aku ada. I wanna be the girl, that stays with him through, everything.
I keep quiet, sebab sekarang, and dari dulu, everytime we talk on the phone and everything that we share, when he is down, I am the girl, in a form of a ghost, whom hug him from a far, to show that when he's in pain. I feel it too. 

"Well, see, told you kejap je kalau I hantar you. Ni da sampai da rumah you. By the way, are you sure you are okay?"
I looked at him, quite longer than usual. I swear my tears were holding up. I can see him da kaku kat situ. Terkejut mungkin, sebab aku macam nak nangis. Aku tunduk dan look away. Shook my head, saying nothing is wrong. 
"Sheera, I can't bare to see you this way. You've been really quiet. Meh la cita"
Aku teragak. This is my chance. Aku boleh je buat cerita drama kat sini. Tell him that I love him, more than a friend, kalau dia suka, aku jadi lucky. kalau tak suka, nangis, dan lepas tu, tutup pintu kereta. Well cerekarama enough that scene. 

"I like a guy Asyraf. I really really like him. It hurts me to like him but I can't do a single thing just to tell him I like him. It hurts me to see him sad, but I can't be that girl who is gonna make him smile. I love the way he makes me love him more, for all the effort he tries to make me smile. I am in pain, my heart aches Asyraf. I suka dia. I don't see him as a boyfriend. I imagine him to be forever in my life. Apa I nak buat Asyraf. My heart aches every single time I look at him"
Tears came along to every sentence I uttered to him. He just stares at me, and nothing. He looks directly at me, attentively listening. I had to close my face, of course la aku embarrased with the fact aku membanjirkan kereta Civic dia dengan air mata aku. Damn it, aku tak nak berdrama kat sini. 

"Who's the guy Sheera? Why don't you just tell him? Kenapa you takut sangat? Don't let your heart ache more"
Aku frust bila dia tanya macam tu. I think its better aku blah masuk rumah sambung nangis. I'll forever be the ghost in love with him. 
"I just can't Asyraf. It's not as easy. I tak boleh nak go through it anymore" He looks away, and look down. He didn't say a word.
"I am so sorry. I think I better go. Thanks Asyraf for sending me back. I am really sorry, I didn't mean to cry in your car. Besok I can go with my brother to take my car. Thanks again dude"

He looks at me, clumsily searching for my house keys in my handbag. I heard him stutter few words, but aku terlalu sibuk nak keluar dari kereta. I open the door and wave goodbye. Aku baru nak tutup pintu kereta, dia start bukak tingkap kereta. My eyes are still red, but I force a smile as I see him smile. 
"You know, you suck looking like that. Not pretty at all"
aku membara gak la dengar but, he sucks at jokes. I just smile, because it is him.
"Sheera, nak tanya"
aku berat hati nak stay by situ. I want to continue crying. I raised my eyebrows waiting for him to ask. 
"Is the guy me? Because if he is, I am very much an asshole for not realizing it all this while, and for hurting the one person I care the most, and that it takes ages and courage for me to even say this to you", miind you, he didn't say it flawlessly. He stutters most of the time. Trying to look as if he is cool with it. 

Mata aku terkebil-kebil dengar, I swear my jaw dropped sebab tak tahu apa nak respond. I continued to cry but this time with a smile. 
"Here, amik la tissue ni, wipe it off. I get your answer. I don't wanna hurt you anymore. Go inside. I'll call you lepas ni. I wanna make sure my girl is okay"
He smiles. I smile and we parted ways. 

p/s: The first part to this story is called "Cerita Pendek: Kita Kawan kan?" Hope you guys enjoy. I just did it because the idea came suddenly. hehe. 

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Frozen with Magic!

Do You Want to Build a Snowman? - OST Disney Frozen

The heat of the winter season, it is Disney's Animated Movie, Frozen! 
I fall in love with this movie that I just have to give a review on this. Heard from a numerous amount of people that it is very good. When I asked how good is, or at least what is good about that movie, most of em said, "It is really good!" or "Best best!"
So here is my idea of what is so good about this movie. 
Yes, I promise not to spill out spoilers for this movie. 

I'll list out in points so it wont be a long essay review, and I keep track of what am listing. 

So what is so good about this movie? 
  • I praise (endlessly) on the graphic that Disney used for this movie. BEAUTIFUL! I kept going "WOAH" and felt like I was a kid again, amazed by every single detail of how magical it is. They made the details so pretty especially the scene of 'Let It Go' sang by Princess Elsa. The ice sculpture, so pretty! AH all I can say, its pretty, pretty, pretty all the details I can see it! Magical fits the description. I tell you, the animation team did not just sit at their chairs and draw, they went very far and very detail and particular on the graphic. I read that they even went to Norway and Canada to make everything alive. Kid you not. Go google. 

  • The musical score, Oh-My-Gosh. Amazing to my ears! Tremendous score. I love it love it! There's a pinch of traditional folk sort of music and instruments used (of what I googled and as I remembered, wiki said Norway folk songs?) and mixed of Disney's classics era and modern spin. Long have I heard such nice and lovely score since the old days of Disney's glorious classics day, which come from either Disney's Princess Movies or Lion King. The Lopez couple, Robert and Kristen Anderson, alongside Christope Beck did a wonderful job in creating the melodious songs. Bravo!

  • I have to warn you, it is full of musical. Yes, most of the part, they sing a lot. To those who got used to Disney's cartoon, (the ones produced in the present time) being not musical, this one is, well full of it. But don't worry! They have nice musical scenes which in the end, I keep on repeating again and again numerous times (countless on repeats I must say!) on my playlist.

  • The plot : 
    • Well the story is based on Hans Christan Andersen's 'The Snow Queen'. But I say, don't expect it to be as gruesome as Andersen's (well it's Disney, what do you expect?) I love the fact that the creative writers manage to do such justice to the movie storyline (Read: movie storyline, like really the movie) and it's no typical Disney Princess as we see. There's a reality reflecting to it, through the valuable lessons that the writers manage to insert it into the movie. (Hint: I will still try not to spoil it. I told you I wont, I wont. I WON'T!) Okay no. Hahahah (okay this is weird) 
    • Anyway, I like the fact that nobody falls in love with a stranger at first sight (Like the previous Princesses) and that love that saves the day, is not true love first's kiss, but the real definition of love. I love the fact they made it close to reality. (see told you I wont spoil it, in a way I didn't)

  • The fact that there are no BIG celebrity names that are voicing the characters, so the story really focus on the characters. Seriously Kristen Bell didn't ring a bell to me when I saw the credits. But you will start to be very curious who voiced these characters. They are splendid voice overs to the characters, and they brought them all to life. 

  • Forget about spotting Rapunzel and Flynn, because I got so caught up with Anna, I didn't realize it. (unless you have a friend who watched the movie, then he/she can spoil it to you and both of you will end up being all excited and amazed, just the two of you, really, while the others staring at you guys weirdly)

  • I just love Olaf and Sven. Yes, the innocence trait in these characters really made the story more fun and enjoyable. 

  • Because the producer is John Lasseter, people, it is LASSETER. (okay fine, you guys don't know him, here who he is) The Director of Toy Story, A Bug's Life, and The Producers (and executive Producer) to movie such as Finding Nemo, The Incredibles and now Frozen. Why Lasseter again? Because he is damn good in his job, and he knows. He just knows, that is why he now the Chief Creative Officer at Pixar and Walt Disney Animation Studios. He is a LEGEND in animation. are you kidding me? (yes now you know the fun fact on Lasseter. the icon of mine on animation, okay enough)

Okay am done with the review. it could or can be endless! But I think these are solid reasons why you wont waste your money and tickets on this movie. For a big fan of Disney's movie (especially Disney's classics), this brings justice to all my years of waiting, and Frozen really waken my five year old self. This is the best movie for this year coming from Disney. I have high expectation on the cartoons produced by Disney, this time, this one really reach my expectations. Again, I am highlighting the fact, this is my type of cartoon. So you bitter people stop pointing the imperfections on this movie. I JUST LOVE IT!

Okay. Now go buy your tickets. 
Just buy it for gosh sakes. 
I will indulge in the soundtracks for now, missing the movie.
Ratings? A solid 8/10.
For other ratings, you guys can search for Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB. They gave high ratings too!

p/s: Everyone has a bit of Anna and Elsa in their life. And I know I have em too.

Saturday, December 7, 2013


Big bad wolf is killing me.
I am procrastinating on doing my assignments.
I have 8 pending short stories without an ending. Yes I haven't done justice to my writings.

Friday, December 6, 2013

How was your study years?

Carry On (Acoustic) - Fun

So technically, I am left with exactly two weeks of classes. Despite the assignments, events, presentations and everything. I am being very sentimental in every step I make towards ending my semester, no wait, ending my undergraduate years. Funny to say, I actually look forward for this in the past years. But I never imagined it to be, sort of, this fast. Truth be told, I am not ready for the end of it. I am not ready for January. 
I know I will be walking each step, next week feeling very sentimental. 

For some, they might wonder why I am being so over the top of ending my undergraduate years. Some just didn't even bother to feel as sentimental as I do. Well, I do care of the moment I end my years here. Here is where I learn that friends are the ones that share laughter, happiness, sadness and just about everything. Here is where 

I learn to fall and stand back up, NUMEROUS, times, but whenever I stand back up, am always okay.

I learn to search and understand myself better than ever, and looking at myself now, I am happy to know am a-okay

I learn that you can never be the person that everyone love, but that doesn't have to bring you down, as long as you believe that there is good in everything you do and that just seeing the smiles in everyone faces is enough to put you through the day

I learn that no matter how you think you suck in everything you do, you can just find any crazy way to just pick that up and tell yourself, heck this is piece of cake. No matter what crazy way you can think of.

and most importantly,

I came here not knowing what I really wanna be, what I can really find, 
and today, am happy and grateful to know, where I am now is where my past self will be proud of. I didn't get all those over the top achievements, but I gain a sense of self. I know myself better, I understand myself better and I found Him (read : God) along the way. When I found Him, everything else always, always falls into place. 

I am one lucky human being, for being where I am now. I know I am lucky to be here, it's not about my campus being the islamic campus or what not, but its rather me appreciating every moment of life that I went through, because each and every moment or level of life, taught me so many things. Hence, why I am emotional ending my semester. I found myself in these level of life, I treasure every step I made here and it made me who I am today. God knows, what is gonna happen next, but at least, when people ask me,

How was your study years?

I know my answer will be a smile and endless thankful and grateful thoughts for going through that memorable part of life. So for this end, I carry on with the memories I created here. I will definitely miss every single thing in this campus, in the past four years, no matter how sucky, how hurtful, how bad it was. In the end, you will always remember the smiles and happiness. Who in the world takes a picture of a bad moment? It will always be for the good moment. And that picture is what I will keep with me :)

p/s: We are young. And go brighter than the sun.