About Me

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A mind traveller. Pretty much an abstract and eccentric human being. But overall, a human panda who embraces food as a hobby.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Random but sure

Salam all ! :)

Wow, gap of 10 days. I'm missing this space already. To be honest, macam2 sebenarnye dalam minda ni nak cakap. But I'm the spontaneous type. Saya suka nak cakap on the spot, rather dari tangguh kemudian. Because, kalau duk tangguh, hmph, mau lagi lambat. So here I am, 10 days later baru nak buat. Tak senonoh sungguh -_- Anyways, takde menda sangat pun nak cakap, dari aritu nak sangat karang cerita pendek, tapi tak terkarang, acano? Jadik. Just terasa nak membebel sini jap. Maybe lepas Zohor baru ada idea kot. Lepas asar kita mengarang di space kosong ini mau? Jadi ayuh, tunaikan kewajipan dulu. Japgi kita jumpa. HAAA aku tak paham kenapa mesti aku taip sini dulu. Baik aku tunda, Tapi da syok sgt taip. 

Tak pe. Konklusi di sini ada juga. Kita buat kewajipan, baru buat benda lain :) Kan lebih elok kalau begitu. Oh hidupkan selalu ye sunnah2 Rasulullah SAW :) Baginda pasti tersenyum kalau kita di sini selalu ingatkan dia walaupun kita tak pernah berjumpa dengan Baginda. Nak dapat syafaatnya, kene la amalkan sunnah2 dan taat pada Allah kan :) So i bid you momentarily goodbye! Jumpa jap lagi! Kalau teringat nak taip la kan :p 

p/s: Makin tersenyum melihat nikmat-Nya terbentang luas sepanjang masa. Allahuakbar :)

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Selamanya Indah

Salam readers :)

How are you lovely people? Is everything okay? For me. It is very much holiday mood. My exams? Oh goodness. I'm very happy it ended soon. The horror. I had to face exams while having sickness, such fever and gastric. Turns out, my gastric decides to pop out often than usual. Oh well. But then again, every sickness has it's hidden blessing :) I accept it with open heart and let it be a motivation for me if I ever face such incident again.

Sooo I am not here to talk about my life. I don't know why, but I find it boring. Lol. Well typical life of a girl. Apa lagi nak cakap kan?  Gitu je la hidupnye. I am here blogging about, well let's say life. Mungkin la. ada yang sedar, I don't tweet as much. Crap as much on Facebook or twitter. Reason being, I realized there is nothing much to share. I think I grew up. What I realized, is I come to a more reason I found valid to search for, mencari Dia. Who else non other than Allah :) 

So many things happened, even words cannot describe how I went through it all. But all and all. I am very happy and little by little. Fall in love with Islam all over again. The beauty of everything. Guess what I found most shocking? The fact that whatever that is permitted in Islam, written in the rules, becomes the one thing that people nowadays are freaked out with. It is like benda yang halal dalam Islam, yang baik dalam Islam, dipandang pelik dan as if benda tu kalau nak di amalkan jadik janggal. Sedangkan benda itu benda baik. This discovery, made me feel devastated. Baru la Shaf sedar, what world am I living in. What sort of environment am I facing? Is this the true way of living?

That is where I started to search for the real truth. Alhamdullilah. Little by little. Allah has made the path more easier than I expect it. The best part, Allah showed me a way through a blessing He gave me. Blessing apakah itu? :) I shall keep it my own little secret until the time is ready. Definitely not a baby la kan. Jadahnye, aku kawin pon tak lagi (dalam hati nak cepat la kan. kbai) But through that, I learned what every one kept repeating that simple phrase, that at the age of 22. only entered my head.

'Islam itu indah'

Indeed it is. So I am very very blessed to be where I am now. Very happy. By far, this year, Insya Allah will be scribbled with more new things. So looking forward to more things to scribble. Even I might scribble some short story. :D Let's wait and see.

Oh and to you :) I will keep on praying. For our endless journey.

p/s: to my future endeavors, I will start with Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. :)

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Cerita Pendek : Kita kawan kan?

Hati ni da berdebar-debar. Panik pun ada rasanya. Okay rileks Sheera. Rileks je. Everything will be okay. Jumpa dia je pun, bukan jumpa sorang. Jumpa ramai-ramai. Tah-tah dia tak jadik datang. Knowing Asyraf. Most of the time dia selalu cancel last minute meet up. So chill. It'll be fine. 

"Eh Sheera, yang kau duduk dalam kereta ni lagi kenapa? Gerak le. Nak kunci, the boys are waiting da tu" kata Ika memujuk aku keluar dari kereta. Aku pun mula la gerak. Jalan pun lembap-lembap je. Dah kenapa aku setuju nak datang. Hai malas betul. Sengaja diaorg ni nak buat meetup macam ni.

"Kau buat apa dalam keta? Mekap untuk Asyraf ke?" usik Ika. 
"Banyak la kau. Takde keje aku nak mekap-mekap ni. Bukan aku. Takde la aku macam malas je. Kau tahu la aku ngan Asyraf cmne kan"
"Kenapa dengan kau dengan Asyraf? Kau bukan suka ke kalau jumpa. Tengok dari jauh la cukup bak kata kau"
"Amboi kau. erm. Suka tu takat situ je la. nak suruh buat apa pun. Aku tengok dia sengih, borak-borak bodoh. dia dengan lawak tak jadik dia. tu je la. Kau nak suh aku buat apa pun Ika. Smpai situ sahaja"
"Ah macam-macam la kau Sheera. Rileks je. Kalau betul jodoh ada. Ada la korang, lari macam mana pun. Aku tengok Asyraf tu pun macam suka kau je"
"Dah la jangan bagi harapan palsu.. weh tu diaorg, meja sana"

Sampai kat restoran biasa geng kitaorg lepak. Aku terus scan meja tu. Okay cukup kuota, ada Hakim dengan Farhan je. Okay lega jap. Kitaorang memang berlima. Dari sekolah lagi muka mesti berlima. Selama ni aku anggap semua macam adik bradik. lain mak lain bapak la cita dia. Kitaorg rapat sebab masing-masing boleh bergurau senda. Tapi dengan Asyraf cara aku dengan dia, komunikasi kitaorg jadi pelik dan sedikit awkward. Bukan macam aku borak dengan Hakim ngan Farhan. Nak kata control tak jugak. Da lama dah aku suka Asyraf. Mula-mula sebab dia ni macam ada muka la. Ikut taste aku suma. Tapi entah kenapa, aku terpikat tengok perangai dia. Suka buat lawak bodoh, masalahnya lawak yang selalu keluar, macam hambar sangat. Tapi aku gelak. Gelak sebab dia gigih sangat bercerita nak sampaikan. Suka tengok perangai dia yang pelik tapi comel tu. tah kenapa aku suka sangat. Lama juga da minat si mamat ni. Tapi apakan daya, rasa takut kene reject tu. Aku pendam je la minat tu. Minat tu da jadik sayang kot at one point. Tapi aku ignore je. 

"Alahai kakak-kakak manis, typical ladies to come late la. Korang mekap apa je? Serupa je aku tengok rupa korang" gurau Hakim kat kitaorg. Hakim ni paling rilek skali, dia slalu anggap aku ngan Ika cm adik dia, memandangkan dia paling tua dalam geng sbb lahir dulu sebelum kitaorg semua. 
"Hey, aku tak mekap okay, ni minah ni mekap. Tak nampak aku pakai t-shirt sempoi je ni. ni pun dapat free. Tengok muka korang je, jadahnye nak cantik-cantik" respon aku kat Hakim

Aku scan lagi skali restoran ni, mana la tahu Asyraf ada. 
"Kau cari sapa Sheera. Asyraf tak sampai lagi" kata Farhan yang melihat aku tak abis-abis toleh kiri toleh kanan. Macam tengah cari orang.
"Aku tak cakap pape pun. Aku just scan je tengok-tengok kot ada orang aku kenal. Eh dia datang ke?'
"A'ah datang. Cuma lambat skit. Macam biasa la Asyraf. Kau macam tak kenal"

Aku sengih je pastu da rasa awkward nak cakap topik ni. Aku stat tengok menu, rasa lapar pun ada. Aku start terpikir. Kepala aku macam lega jugak Asyraf takde. Tapi hati ni macam mengeluh, kenapa takde pula. Macam sedih pun ada sebab dia takde. Tapi kepala aku macam cakap, ala kalau dia ada pun, apa je korang buat kan. Buat bodoh. Masing-masing buat buat takde pape. Sebab memang takde pape. So should be okay la kan? Amboi bercanggah sungguh hati dan minda aku ni. Sakit jiwa.

"Weh weh weh. Jangan order. Jap jap. Bagi aku duduk jap" Asyraf berkata sambil tercungap-cungap cakap dan duduk sebelah Hakim.
"Assalamualaikum. Hai bro, sampai2 pakai weh weh. Lapar sangat da ke"
"Waalaikumussalam. Ala Hakim, takkan plak aku nak jerit kuat2 bagi salam. Kang orang kata aku gila plak. bagi sopan sikit, depan mata kau, baru aku ucap. Salam tangan. baru bromantic kan" respon Asyraf. Aku kat tepi tergelak kecil dengar cara dia cakap. Ha sampai-sampai da merapu sakan. Macam tu la dia sepanjang2 masa kalau lepak.

"Eh Sheera. Ada rupenye. Ingatkan takde. Lama dah sampai?"
"Amboi, kau nampak Sheera je ke Asyraf? Aku ni kau tak nak tanye" sahut Ika perli Asyraf yang tegur aku.
"Ala Ika Apa bezanye, sebab aku tahu korang sampai sekali, naik keta sekali, tanya dia sama jugak jawapan kau. Kau nak jugak aku tanya kau? Alahai, ha Ika da lama sampai?"
"Ah kau. Alasan. Berdekad lama da aku tunggu. Kau buat apa la, datang lambat je keje"
"Eh biasa. Busy man. Kira baik la muka aku muncul"

Da sampai jugak Asyraf. Ha hati aku cam da tenang. Tapi kepala aku macam panik plak. Dia cm nervous sebab dia depan mata. Aku plak kadang-kadang kantoi tengok dia. Gelak kat jokes dia. Nampak sangat aku asyik dengar apa dia cakap. Kadang-kadang Ika sengaja usik aku depan Asyraf, parah jugak la si Ika tu kene, asyik kene tendang kaki dengan aku je bawah meja. Tak pun mata aku membesar je. Masalahnye, aku boleh communicate dengan semua orang, siap boleh relate kat one another kalau berborak, tapi aku tak paham kenapa aku tak leh nak buat macam tu dengan Asyraf. Macam kalau kitaorg mula cakap, kitaorg sampai terlupa yang kitaorg lepak beramai-ramai. Kadang-kadang, bebudak ni usik jugak kitaorg, rasanye semua orang macam perasan kitaorg berdua kalau biar cakap berdua jadik cm terasing. Semua orang nampak, tapi kenapa aku rasa Asyraf ni macam biasa je. Aku sampai da give up nak interpret apa-apa, sebab knowing Asyraf, sampai situ je la. Mana nak pergi jauh. Aku je la berangannye. Da kawan lama sangat, apa je nak jadik? Takde la kan cita dia. Jadi tiap kali lepak ramai-ramai, tu je la aku dapat tengok Asyraf. He's my What If. So what if je la yang bermain dalam kepala aku.

"Weh lama sangat da ni, aku ada assignment nak kene submit esok. Sheera gerak jom?" kata Ika kat aku. Aduh. Nak balik da ke? Memang la esok ada kelas. Tapi macam berat pun ada nak balik. Bila je la dapat lepak cmni.
"Korang da nak gerak? Wei sama la. Aku pun ada keje nak settle esok. Gerak skali la ek. Parking keta kau kat mana Ika?" respon Hakim kepada Ika sambil bangun dari tempat duduk dan gerak bersama ke cashier.
"Woi woi. Korang nak gi bayar ke? Aku nak ikut la" sahut Farhan.
"Dah kenapa kau nak ikut Farhan? Japgi kan kau naik dengan Hakim gak. Bayar je la dalam keta. Woi Paan. Alahai buat bodoh plak budak ni" respon Asyraf.
Okay sekarang situasi da jadik sedikit awkward. Apa aku nak cakap? Okay aku patut bangun la kan.
Okay bangun skang.

"Eh? Nak gi mana ni Sheera? Diaorg kan datang balik sini?" respon Asyraf pada tindakan aku.
"Tak. tengok la. Diaorg main gerak je. Jom la" aku pun stat beralih dari meja makan. Okay gerak cepat Sheera, gerak cepat.
"Sheera! Wah laju sangat. Nah sampai tertinggal henpon. Kang meraung tak dapat nak text encik abang" 
Okay nice move Sheera. Terbaik la kau punya gopoh gapah nak bla. tertinggal henpon
"Encik abang mana plak. Memang I ada plak la hai Asyraf. Kan i da cita. Mana ada"
"I ada? I encik abang jugak. Seorang encik. Dan seorang abang. Combine both. tak ke sama ?" gurau Asyraf pada aku.
Seriously la. That have to be the lamest joke I've ever heard. But.. it's sweet. Okay Sheera over sangat nak pikir sweet. It's Asyraf. That's typical. Typical him.

"Weh. kelakar. geli hati dengar. geli geli"
"Ala jangan la geli Sheera. Tu terbaik kot. Ni you balik dengan Ika?" 

Eip. Ni soalan apa dia tanya aku ni? Padahal dia tahu kut aku sampai sini tadi dengan Ika. Dia sendiri buat statement camtu.
"dah tu? takkan naik kuda kot."
"eih marah nampak. saje je tanye. terlupa. mana la tahu. you balik asing"
"takde nye. da biasa kot, and you know. asyraf, asyraf, pelik pelik je soalan you nak balik ni. Okay la. I gotta go. Tu minah tu, tengok, da cekak pinggang dah kat keta dia. I'll see you sometime soon?"

 Senyum aku pada Asyraf. Tengah aku tersenyum tu, aku perasan Asyraf da lama tersengih kat aku. Aku pun cair la kan. Tapi kata nak bla, aku still tercegat kat situ. Tah kenapa, aku rasa macam Asyraf nak cakap something kat aku. 

"Asyraf. I gerak dulu okay?" Aku hentikan staring aku kat Asyraf yang macam da nampak obvious. Lama-lama aku terblush da satu masalah plak. Blush depan dia.
"Ha haaa baiklah. We'll see each other soon. insya Allah. Ken salam Ika. Eh jap. WEH Ika. Byeeee",jerit Asyraf sambil melambai kepada Ika.

Ika tersenyum dan suruh Asyraf pulangkan aku cepat. Aku tergelak je tengok Ika cakap camtu, tapi mata aku terus terbeliak besar la sebab macam kantoi di situ. Aku senyum je kat Asyraf dan ucap bye dan bagi salam. Terus berpaling dan gerak ke arah kereta Ika. Hati aku sayu, sedih nak cakap bye, tapi kepala aku asyik tenangkan aku, nak sedih pun buat apa. Nothing is there. So don't expect anything. Aku masuk keta, secara tak sengaja, mengeluh dan termenung.

"Nothing ? " respon Ika bila ternampak aku macam sedih begitu rupa
"Nothing what?" 
"You and him lah. Apa lagi"
"haha kau nak expect apa pun wei. Dia propose kat situ? it will be just that. Asyraf has no feelings to me. Friends and friends je. Sampai bila pun aku boleh mimpi je. dah la Ika jom gerak"
Aku stat pakai seatbelt sambil senyum pada Ika. To show her that I'll be fine.
"Hai Sheera. One day maybe. One day. Ada jodoh takkan ke mana. Sapa kata kawan pun tak leh bercinta"
Aku tergelak dan terus tersenyum. Malas da nak respon apa-apa dengan Ika. Kami bergerak pulang dari tempat lepak. Aku pula? Termenung ke luar kereta. Terfikir, apakah aku sorang yang rasa macam ni?
_________________________________________

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Magic is within us

Salam readers.

It's 1st January 2013. As I'm sitting here, typing this post, on a new year, a new date. Watching harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. Tak expect langsung nak blog anything today, since I blogged a long new year's wish yesterday. But here I am. All thanks to Harry Potter.

So, apa kaitan? 

Simple. I saw Harry Potter, and I realized, I've watched that movie for the past 10 years of my life as a child through adolescent years and here I am never, ever will I ever get bored watching it for God knows how many times, during my adult years. This year, I am twenty-three. 23 years old. Magadz. Tua kan? well not that old lah. Just that selama ni, I'm thinking maybe. I am still 20s. Yeap. just two zero je la kan dalam minda. Bila tgk Harry Potter's first scene for that movie, it shows back how Harry was reflecting through the Dudley's house. The house he lives in for the past years, having to bid goodbye to it to move on and finish his journey. I realized, the irony, I'm doing very much the same. Well takde la nak say goodbye to my home, but rather to 2012.

Banyak benda yang jadi, from good to bad, from sweet to sour, to bitter. I've tasted all 2012 has given to me. As how scared Harry is to leave his house and finish his journey, he brave through it. So will I. Memang scary sebenarnye growing up. More things to come, more sacrifice, more bravery we have to put up to. For all I know, things have to go on. It's our life, our journey. If we don't start now, who will end it for us? So, I am proud to say, I am an adult living life just how it should be. I watched myself grow, just like how I watch Harry did. Learn to be better each year that comes. Embrace the new year, face it. no matter how scared it might be, for all we know, we will gain something we will never expect. Like always, remember, to remember Him. At all times, even if we fall half way, know that He's there watching over you. So walk on, know that you're strong. Always. Look at the people who God gave, who loves you for who you are. Be blessed that you are smiling now. and create more smiles in the future. :) Insya Allah. You'll be fine.

So as how scared you are, and looking at how I might MIGHT. sound brave here. I am as scared as you, to start this new year. But I have faith in Him always. So I'll stand here. Scribbling things like I always do. And to let all know, that life is hard but hey, you'll find it worth living.

Let's start with the first day. Carry on and move forward :)

p/s: I'll be scribbling here as usual. Keep on reading :) Roger and out.

Hello dua kosong satu tiga

Salam and hellooo readers ! :)

Guess what? I'm blogging on New Year ! Duh. Obviously.

So here I welcome 2013 with open arms. May it brings blessings to all of us. Baru sahaja balik dari spent my New Year's Eve with my schoolmate, Farah Norzam. Where did we went to? Simple mamak stall would be nice. Some might say it's lame. Why are you not out celebrating it? Nahhh. da penat la nak redah jam, lautan manusia, and oh my New Year is scary with so many people. I'm scared of people more. Been there done that, celebrate ramai2 in public, officially scares me. So my New Year's Eve is spent at a mamak stall in Ampang (our house area) and we catch up stories of our lives. From that moment, we knew we ended 2012 in a memorable way :) Thank youuuu Farah!

So jadiknye, what is my wish to all of you for 2013? 

Simple je. There is no such thing as bad year or good year. Tiap2 tahun ada yang baik dan buruk berlaku. Don't curse on the year. Every good and bad thing yang datang ada kelebihan masing2. What is important is, the way you face it. So for this 2013, apa kene buat? Take this few steps 

1) Stand up.
2) Smile and
3) Tell yourself it's a whole new year, apa yang akan datang, let it be! You'll face it with a positive mind either good or bad 

Insya Allah everything will be a-okay! Every year that comes, it doesn't determine you that life will be good or bad. Sebenarnya, yang make everything good and bad, is you. So if you want it to be a good year despite whatever comes, be positive! Always tell yourself you can make it through. Well, tengok la anda sekarang, sihat berdiri, and reading this post after 2012 has passed. hihi. So always remember the people you love and remember you are never alone.  Oh and don't forget, there is always room for changes. So look back at the past year, jangan membenamkan diri dengan kesilapan lalu, tapi muhasabah dan cuba jadi yang terbaik! Always :) Insya Allah all can be done. Jadi di sini am done with the long wish. LOL. Please know that me lap you guys for even reading this. I'll see you more this 2013 :D 

So again I say

Selamat Datang 2013!
Semoga tahun ini dihadapi dengan senyuman dan rahmat dari-Nya selalu. 
Amin.

Happy New Year everyone :)

p/s: Starting a new year with a new perspective but with the same me :)