About Me

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A mind traveller. Pretty much an abstract and eccentric human being. But overall, a human panda who embraces food as a hobby.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

It rains

Some songs. Still hurts like how it used to.
Some memories. Still hurts like how it used to.
Some letters. Still made me remind how it felt hurting for you.

It's still raining. But not as heavy as before.
This time. I closed the window while it's raining outside.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Di sebalik hati

Hari ini. Aku di dalam dunia. Di mana, kelilingku, ramai manusia.
Ramai sekali.
Tetapi. Entah mengapa, hati ini. Masih terasa keseorangan.
Benar lah hidup di dunia, walaupun dikelilingi hidup, masih sendiri.
Hati mula resah. Dua hari tinggal. Mungkin kurang.
Aku masih resah dan tidak mencukupi.
Aku masih rasa berat.
Kalau boleh, tidak mahu pergi.
Aku masih tak dapat membuka tangan terhadap syawal.
Kalau aku dibenarkan tinggal bersama Ramadhan.
Ah nikmatnya
Tapi apakan daya. Aku menanti yang akan datang. Tapi.
Siapa aku untuk berkata begitu?
Aku pun tidak pasti, sejauh mana nafasku.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Like you did mine

Lenyapkan perasaan ini.
Aku meminta. Dengan hati yg kini
memberi aku nafas.
Lenyapkan perasaan ragu ragu ini
Mampu kan aku untuk percaya,
pada apa yg terdaya,
Aku ingin berdiri dan berada di sisi
tapi bagaimana untuk pasti,
jika kau sendiri meragui
kehadiran aku di sini?

Saturday, August 11, 2012

It's only this far?

today happens to be the day where I say, it's been long.
It's been long. Seems long. But we're quite new.
So when will it be the day?
Or should I really anticipate it now?
Felt quite some time since we're together. But it's been 3 months. Only 3 months? felt long though

p.s: lets fast forward shall we?

Monday, August 6, 2012

Tolong aku?

Tolong aku?
Tolong la aku.
Tolong apa?
Tolong ringan kan beban yang ada.
Macam mana?
Macam apa cara yang ada.
Tapi.
Tapi apa?
Tapi aku juga punya beban. Tak mengapa aku di sini.
Tak mengapa. Biar aku pikul sendiri la jika begini.
Kerana aku belajar kita perlu memberi dan menerima. Biar aku memahami kau. Tapi. Kenapa hati aku yang terseksa?

Sunday, August 5, 2012

There's lost and found

I have no idea why. It's been a rough journey since the beginning of Ramadhan.
I am not complaining.
But for all the things that came. It came in one go. I was almost suffocating, finding it was hard to breathe.
But alhamdullilah. I managed to breathe. For now. I believed everything happens for a reason.
Especially after I choose a path that I thought I was scared to go through.
But behind this, I learn to discover myself, believe in Him, and trust in people I thought never exists.
Then here I am.
I went through shits the past few months. but I survived.
I am not gonna stop praying for a better one.
But all and all. Despite it's like this. I am now fulfilled.
It's a hard step these past few days. especially after I lost my laptop to a car theft.
Yep. All the hard work gone.
But it made me think and reflect who I was and why I care so much of what's inside the laptop.
It made me see who I really was.
Surprised me in many ways how that incident gave me a reflection of myself, rather than me mourning over the loss of my works and laptop.
Now. I am very much calm and I feel better. Well. Indeed God has a way to reach you. Even if it means
losing something.
I lost my laptop yes. But for all thats worth. I need to let go of my past. I got too caught up in it. That I forgot. How much I turned away from things I myself believe in.
Things have change now. I have better life. I need to appreciate it.
God brings me a man, whom I thought never existed.
Alhamdullilah. He surprised me in many ways I never knew. He knew me better than myself.
for all it's worth. I am his to keep.
And pray that he will be the one for me. Insya Allah.

and for the thieves. Well.. I am mad lah. But then again, ada la sebab en. But I'll still say. May you rot in Hell. But then again. I pray God knows just what to do with you.