About Me

My photo
A mind traveller. Pretty much an abstract and eccentric human being. But overall, a human panda who embraces food as a hobby.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Take it they said, it will be fun they said

Sem lepas sudah abis. Short sem baru start.
Meh la saya emphasize kan.
Short sem BARU start 
Baru as in ari isnin aritu
But guess what. By the end of the week. We got 5 articles (read: journal articles) to search. one presentation to be presented by the next two weeks.
Term paper to be submitted the next 4 weeks. WALAWEH
Ini da macam bukan short da. Da patut panggil pack semester.
Mengegel la plak nak buat kerja.
Nasib kau la.
Sapa suh amik en.
Tapi demi pelajaran. Akan ku tempuhi.
Eh pui. Ayat. -_- sendiri taip sendiri nak muntah.
oh well. Ini la dia liku2 hidup. Susah dahulu. Senang kemudian.
Kalau kita tak susah skang, nak benda senang kemudian, jangan la merungut kalau susah nak dapatkan?

Jadi sampai di sini rintihannya. Kbai. Mekasih sudi baca. Saya stress sebenarnye. Baru bangun tidur da kene pikir articles -_-

p/s: Mak saya kata biar belajar macam nak terbalik daripada buat benda tak elok macam nak rak. Eh ye la du en? 

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Empty pedestal

She sat and ponder,
To the pedestal,
Exists within a mansion,
A mansion so big, yet so empty.
She wonders,
of the pedestal,
The reason, the remembrance,
she can't recall, she said.
She can't remember, she said.
As she looks deeper, to the carving at the pedestal,
'Look high, but never deeper'
The pedestal standing tall.
But the reason remains empty.
for all she knows, it was there before, present and future.
It's not to be touch. Not to be yearn. Not to be mourn at.
She saw a tragedy within the pedestal.
Built either by force.
or by act of respect.
But never for love
But never for remembrance.
Poor pedestal she said.
Poor empty pedestal she said
So she sat and puzzled
of this empty pedestal,
Laid here,
Within a mansion. So big, yet so empty.
She walks away.
walks away.
with the need to embrace,
but leaving the scene with no act of remembrance.

Sunday, June 10, 2012


I was surprised today.
I was speechless. To know that we are not following each other.
I get the part not following. Then I realized.
What was the reason this happened again? Did I hurt you?
I expect you, of all people. With your age. To be mature. If there is something you don't like. Confront me.
Tell me. Express it. Not running away.
I always look up to you. For the reasons that I respect what you did. How you do things. I always see you as a mentor. As a friend. Maybe. In the past. I saw you even more than that.
But then again somethings do change.
Nevertheless. You i still see as a mentor and still as a friend.
But I guess you stopped seeing me as a friend.
Now tell me. What did I did wrong until you put me out in that way ?
I'm hurt. To know if this is the way you do things
I'm hurt. To know that we stop seeing things the same way.
But what made me more hurt. That you just simply block me out.
I expect You, of all people. To be the mature one. With your experience. With your age.
But clearly, you prove me wrong.
I will not say much anymore.
We're adults to be chopping each other's words with nonsense.
Whatever that I say to you is real. Whatever that I say to you is true.
It was never just to make it look good. But it was sincere.
I hope you are okay. Wherever you go.  I wish you all the best. Always.

p/s: I left w no words but disappointment

Run away run away

I am trying very hard to look at you and not remember the one that has passed.
It hurts me so much to remember something that is not present here physically.
Definitely you can never replace his place. Funny thing. You are suppose to be at his degree.
Not him
I try to look at you and still call you that. But I think I didn't learn to do that.
I only know it from the past.
It hurts me so much to think that I am here facing a pedestal.
But i never know what reasons this pedestal exists. It's just a pedestal never something I embrace.

ps: I envy every little girl that has a place to run to. 

Saturday, June 9, 2012

To blessings

I am blessed. I stand here tonight hearing to this song.

Terukir Di Bintang 
by Yuna

And here I am. Blessed w everything. Great family and friends. And now someone special. Everything was worth the wait. and he was right in front of me all the time :) Thank you love. I keep on praying we will be next to each other always. :)

Monday, June 4, 2012

Breathing into every word

I am left with three papers more. I miss typing. I miss blogging. I miss just scribbling. Life is treating me fair so far. I love just how it's going right. Things should stay this way. Well that is what I wish for. But I know this will be temporary. Better brace myself for any future ride. It's gonna be a hella of a ride. Not anticipating it. Maybe just dreading it. Like they say life is like a roller coaster ride. Stay put. Grab on and enjoy the ride.