You are the scar I can never remove, It's just too fucking hard to remove you away. It's like trying to get rid of a scar which will make it even worse. Are you happy that I'm this.. miserable? Are you? I only pray for one thing, that this can either can give me a meaningful lesson to learn. or hoping for what I see is impossible. Tuhan saja tahu, how I tried to push you away. So I stopped trying, but things are still the same. I push every one who's trying, not cause of you, but cause it's just not the same and my heart got tired. The only thing I'm not pushing is you. I bet you are happy seeing me this way. Well. I'm happy. Being just this. I am satisfied. I have my friends that is by my side. I will never show. I try to put the biggest pride that I will not fall in front of everyone. But here. I fall. I know you're reading every word. But once I leave this pages. I put all this shit aside and move on, eventhough its fucking impossible. I push myself forward. Just that here. I become vulnerable. I let myself be human. As much as I hate to admit this, but you made me remember that I am a human. It's okay to be this weak & not strong all the time. That is what good I can see.
You know how fate is making it impossible for me ? Well coincidence. The person who is everywhere, keep reminding me of you. He resembles you. You think I'm happy hearing the songs? No. But thats the closest I can get to you.