I refuse to believe.
Even when its pointing somewhere. It is hurting me that I refuse to believe.
It hurts me deeply that I failed to know what is real and what is pain.
Hopes used to be my will to live.
But getting hurt many times. Lead me to believe sometimes pain comes first
and stays. never move.
There was a story.
A boy came into a girl's life. Funny is, both of them never knew they will come into each other's life.
The girl never even bother for the boy's existance. Little did she know, he changed her views, her thoughts, her belief, her spirit, her smiles and her hopes.
They saw each other. In fact they still do.
Picture a boy and a girl. At a railway station. one is on one side, the other is at the opposite
They are basically at the same place only that, she has no idea how can she see him clearly.
She see him. Even with all the trains passing by. She knows where he is. Her visions did not lie to her.
Her mind did not. Her heart sense his presence.
Nevertheless, she cries on her side because she will never know how the boy looks at her.
Is he looking this way?
Is he searching for me?
Is he smiling knowing that I am here?
Does he know?
Does he know?
She will never know.
She refuse to hurts herself. So she stayed.
Stayed where she is.
now everywhere she goes.
He sees the boy.
Not knowing how he sees her.
She stops at every point she can. just to tell herself. It's okay.
She prays to be strong.
She prays to never stop believing.
But if it hurts her one day. She will still move on.
If it doesn't. Then she hopes one day.
That she will see how he looks at her.
p/s: i refuse to believe for now. whatever signs i see. my heart is just too scared.