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A mind traveller. Pretty much an abstract and eccentric human being. But overall, a human panda who embraces food as a hobby.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

This isn't gonna work

I am too occupied with work that I forgot how to smile.
Very much lovely isn't it?
Well I thought I was running away from something, but I was wrong, there was nothing to run away from. I guess I was scared to feel anything whether it's happiness or sadness. I just want to feel nothing. So when I thought that filling my life with work can make me feel more ignorant. I was wrong. 
I start to care the reasons I went through that. The cause that have made me reach a point where I can't accept being in a state that involves me being ignorant.
and I think along the way, I built a wall, standing so tall and so strong, that I forgot to make a backup plan of how to destroy it, in case I didn't want it anymore. 
So it stands there. 
Still does. 
Life is not easy for me lately. So if I ever say no to many times to anyone, or went away from anyone. 
It's not that I hate you or avoiding you
but I am kind of avoiding myself. 
Funny how life can make jokes for you but you are not laughing. 

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